Why was the calendar worried? It's days were numbered.

What has keys but can't open locks and opens locks but can't close them? A piano.

What has a head, a foot, and four legs but isn't alive? A bed.

What has many needles but cannot sew? A cactus.

Why was the math book happy today? It finally solved all its problems.

Why was the math book sad? It had too many quotients.

What can never be put in a saucepan? Its lid.

What has legs but can't walk and a head but can't think? A bed.

What has a heart that doesn't beat and can be put in a skillet? An artichoke.

What has a head, a tail, is brown, and has no legs but loves water? A penny.

What has a neck but no head, two arms but no hands, and you wear it? A sweater.

What has keys but can't open locks, no rooms but space, and pins but can't sew? A pin cushion.

What has one eye but can't see, a hot head, and blows its top? A volcano.

What has many ribs but cannot breathe? A book.

What has a foot but no leg, is used to measure, and starts at zero? A ruler.

What has a ring but no finger, is very fast, and snores loudly? An alarm clock.

What has branches but no leaves, roots but no soil, and you can hold it in your hand? A library card.

I fly without wings, I cry without eyes. Whenever I go, darkness follows me. What am I? A cloud.

What is full of holes but can hold water? A sponge.

I get smaller every time I take a bath. What am I? Soap.

What has keys but can't open locks, leaves but no branches, and travels but never moves? A keyboard.