Why did the math problem go to the beach? It wanted to find its X.

What has keys but can't drive? A typewriter.

Why did the math book get a standing ovation? Because it finally solved its problems.

What has a neck but no head? A bottle of wine.

What has many needles but can't sew? A Christmas tree.

Why did the doughnut go to the dentist? To get a filling.

What has a heart but no organs? A strawberry.

Why did the music note go to jail? Because it was caught in a rest.

Why don't trees like to play hide and seek? They're always stumped.

What is as light as a feather, yet even the world's strongest man couldn't hold it for more than a few minutes? Breath.

Why did the belt get a promotion? Because it was holding up the pants.

Why did the math teacher break up with the calculator? Because it couldn't count on him.

Why did the pencil go to school? To become better lead.

What belongs to you but others use it more than you do? Your voice.

Why did the boy bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house.

Take away my first letter, and I remain the same. Take away my last letter, and I remain unchanged. What am I? A postman.

What's the best way to burn 1,000 calories? Leave the pizza in the oven.

Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have any guts!

Why did the pony have a sore throat? Because he was a little hoarse!

Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? Because when he asked who was the best composer, they all said, 'Bach, Bach, Bach!'

Why was the math book looking sad? Because it had too many problems!