Why did the pencil go to the doctor? It had too many 'led' injuries.

Why did the scientist go to the art show? To see the 'cell' exhibits!

Why did the math book sleep through class? It was over 20 chapters!

Why do fish always sing off-key? Because you can't tuna fish.

What kind of flower do you wear on your face? Two-lips.

Why didn't the calendar go to the party? It felt days were numbered.

What has keys but can't open locks or start cars? A piano!

Why couldn't the mummy answer the phone? He was all wrapped up!

Why was the math book so good at sports? Because it had all the solutions!

Why did the biology book feel lonely? It couldn't find its cell-friends!

Why was the Joker good at math? He always had an ace up his sleeve!

Why did the cell phone go to jail? It was caught in a bad reception!

Why was the cucumber so cool? It had a lot of salad-tude!

What do you call a tree that fits in your hand? Palm tree.

Why don't clocks ever go hungry? They always go back four seconds

Why did the pencil go to the doctor? It wanted a new point of view

What kind of music are balloons afraid of? Pop music

What has keys but can't open locks and is played on a court? A tennis racquet.

What is made of wood but can't be sawed? Sawdust.

What has cities but no people, rivers but no water, and roads but no cars? A map.

Why did the geometry teacher go to the beach? She heard they had the best tan-gents.