I'm so terrible at relationships, my dating profile is just a picture of a cat.

I'm so bad at dancing, the last time I tried, someone called 911 thinking I was having a seizure.

I'm so hopeless with technology, I once asked a 5-year-old for help setting up my email.

I'm so bad at budgeting, my credit card company sends me thank you cards.

I'm so awkward, I introduced myself to someone I've known for years.

I'm so bad at technology, even my toaster gives me error messages.

I'm so terrible at parking, I once got a ticket in an empty parking lot.

I'm so bad at flirting, I once complimented someone by calling them 'very human'.

I'm so bad at math, I count on my fingers in public.

I'm so indecisive, I can't even decide if I should make a joke about it.

I'm so awkward, I make small talk with my own reflection.

I'm so bad at dating, even my cat swipes left on me.

I'm so clumsy, I've accidentally walked into a door that was clearly marked 'pull'.

I asked my mirror who the most handsome person is, and it replied 'Sorry, I can't find anyone'.

I went to a bakery and they asked if I wanted a baker's dozen. I said 'No thanks, I can barely handle one'.

I tried to do a charity run, but they said they don't accept pity laps.

I told my crush how I feel and they replied 'I never knew I had a stalker'.

I went to a costume party dressed as a success. Nobody recognized me.

I joined a support group for procrastinators, but we never meet.

When I look in the mirror, my reflection looks away.

I accidentally wore mismatched socks and someone asked if it was a new fashion trend.