I've watched so many episodes of a TV show that I feel personally invested in the characters' lives.

I have the memory of a goldfish - I can barely remember what I had for breakfast.

I've tried to pick up a new hobby so many times, I should start a collection of abandoned projects.

I'm the person who always ends up with the dysfunctional piece of furniture that wobbles no matter what you do.

I'm like a plant - I thrive with minimal sunlight and constant neglect.

I'm so bad at dating, I once got ghosted by a scarecrow.

I'm so unathletic, my Fitbit sends me passive-aggressive notifications.

I'm so bad at singing, my showerhead begs me for a break.

I'm so awkward, I make the 'awkward silence' sound like a symphony.

I'm so bad at fashion, even my shadow refuses to follow me.

I'm so bad at dancing, my dance moves could be classified as a new form of interpretive art.

I'm so bad at dancing, I make Elaine from Seinfeld look like a professional.

I'm so bad at flirting, I once accidentally winked at my reflection in a window.

I'm so uncoordinated, I once tripped over my own shoelaces while sitting down.

I'm so bad at singing, my neighbors offered to pay me to stop.

I'm so awkward, I once tried to high-five someone and ended up slapping myself.

I'm so bad at telling jokes, my cat groans every time I try to be funny.

I'm so terrible at sports, I once got a participation trophy just for showing up.

I'm so uncoordinated, I once sprained my ankle while sitting down.

I'm so bad at singing, even my shower tells me to be quiet.

I'm so bad at making decisions, I once spent an hour trying to choose a Netflix movie and ended up watching nothing.