I'm so bad at dancing, even my shadow refuses to follow my moves.

I'm so bad at technology, I once tried to restart my computer by blowing on the screen.

I'm so forgetful, I once forgot to press the snooze button and slept through my alarm.

I'm so bad at technology, I once accidentally deleted all of my contacts trying to send a text message.

I'm so bad at time management, I once tried to do a week's worth of work in one day and ended up falling asleep on my keyboard.

I'm so awkward, I once said 'you too' to the waiter who told me to enjoy my meal.

I'm so clumsy, I once spilled water on myself while trying to drink from a straw.

I'm so bad at small talk, I once asked someone how their pet rock was doing.

I'm so bad at dancing, I once cleared the dance floor just by attempting the sprinkler move.

I'm so bad at singing, my neighbors once asked me to stop showering in the morning.

I'm so bad at organizing, I once lost my keys in the refrigerator.

I'm so bad at technology, I still have a VCR blinking 12:00 in my living room.

I'm so unathletic, I get winded just watching other people exercise.

I'm so bad with names, I've been called 'buddy' by the same person for 5 years.

I'm so bad at managing my money, even Monopoly banks won't loan me any more fake cash.

I'm so bad at telling jokes, my own reflection doesn't laugh at me.

I'm so bad at parking that I have a designated spot in the nearest ditch.

I'm such a bad singer that even my shower has started giving me notes.

I'm so bad at saving money that my piggy bank filed for bankruptcy.

I'm so bad at remembering names that I just refer to everyone as 'buddy'.

I'm so bad at DIY projects that even my tools hide from me.