I'm so unathletic, I once threw out my back sneezing.

I'm so clumsy, I have a black belt in bumping into things.

I'm so bad with money, even Monopoly doesn't trust me with the bank.

I'm so bad at DIY projects, I once made a birdhouse that birds refused to enter.

I'm so forgetful, I once tried to unlock my front door with my car remote.

I'm so bad at gardening, I killed a cactus.

I'm so bad at singing, my karaoke machine refuses to play when I step up.

I'm so bad at technology, I accidentally FaceTimed my microwave.

I'm so bad at math, I count on my fingers and still get it wrong.

I'm so bad at planning, I once bought a birthday card for the wrong person.

I'm so bad at gardening, I can't even keep a cactus alive.

I'm so bad at dancing, I was once asked to leave a Zumba class for causing a safety hazard.

I'm so bad at technology, I struggle to use a toaster.

I'm so bad at singing, I once received a noise complaint while in the shower.

I'm so bad at dancing, I was once mistaken for a malfunctioning robot at a party.

I'm so bad at DIY projects, I once accidentally built a bookshelf upside down.

I'm so bad at telling jokes, I once got booed by a group of kindergarteners.

I'm so bad at budgeting, I once spent all my money on a singing fish toy.

I'm so bad at gardening, I once killed a cactus by overwatering it.

I'm so bad at DIY, I once nailed my own hand to the wall.

I'm so bad with technology, I can't even set the clock on my microwave.