I'm so bad at gardening, even fake plants wilt around me.

I'm so uncoordinated, I make a sloth look graceful.

I'm so bad at technology, I once accidentally FaceTimed my dog.

I'm so bad at relationships, my love life is like a Netflix show - lots of drama and no happy endings.

I'm so indecisive, I can't even choose a favorite color. Wait, maybe I can... no, nevermind.

I'm so uncoordinated, I once got tangled up in my own shoelaces while sitting down.

I'm so bad at technology, I still haven't figured out how to set the clock on my microwave from daylight savings time two years ago.

I'm so bad at relationships, even my imaginary girlfriend left me.

I'm so unathletic, I get winded just thinking about exercise.

I'm so bad at saving money, I have a black belt in impulse buying.

I'm so bad at technology, my phone autocorrects to 'I have no idea what I'm doing'.

I'm so bad at parking, I once got a ticket while looking for a spot.

I'm so clumsy, I trip over air on a regular basis.

I'm so bad at flirting, I once got rejected by a vending machine.

I'm so bad at sports, my Fitbit thinks I'm in a coma.

I'm so uncoordinated, I trip over imaginary lines in the sidewalk.

I'm so bad at decision-making, I once spent an hour trying to choose a Netflix show...and ended up watching the same episode of The Office for the tenth time.

I'm so bad at dating, my love life is like a Netflix series - canceled after one season.

I'm so clumsy, I tripped over my own shadow the other day.

I'm so forgetful, I once walked into a room and forgot why I was there.

I'm so clumsy, I trip over flat surfaces all the time.