I'm the only one who can manage to lose a game of solitaire.

I'm so bad at directions, even my GPS gives up on me.

I have a black belt in procrastination.

People say I have a face for radio.

I have a talent for making a fool of myself in any situation.

I'm the reason why they put 'do not iron clothes while wearing them' on the label.

I'm as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

I'm so clumsy, I trip over my own shadow.

My resume should just say 'professional over-thinker'.

I'm the human version of a '404 Error'.

I am to fashion what a fork is to a bowl of soup - completely unnecessary.

I've never been able to keep a plant alive. I'm a serial plant killer.

I'm the kind of person who would try to high-five a blind person.

I'm the reason why they put 'may contain nuts' on peanut butter jars.

I'm like a Rubik's cube - the more you try to figure me out, the more confusing I become.

I'm the only person who would get lost in a round room.

I'm so forgetful, I once called my boss 'mom' in an email by accident.

I tried to become a morning person, but my snooze button is just too persuasive.

I'm the person who starts singing in the shower and then forgets the lyrics to their favorite song.

I'm so bad at directions, even my GPS gets lost following me.

I tried to set a new personal record for being late, but I got there too early.