I'm so bad at exercising, I get out of breath just watching workout videos.

I'm so bad at doing laundry, my clothes go in looking dirty and come out looking worse.

I'm so bad at taking selfies, my camera has a 'delete immediately' function just for my photos.

I'm so bad at parking, valet workers give me a map to find my car.

I'm so socially awkward, I avoid my own reflection to prevent small talk.

I'm so bad at technology, even my phone's autocorrect can't decipher my texts.

I'm like Cinderella's step-sibling, constantly trying to shove my foot into a shoe that doesn't fit.

I'm so uncool, even emojis don't want to hang out with me.

I'm so bad at technology, I once got a blue screen of death on my microwave.

I'm like a mattress, always getting walked over but never spoken to.

I tried being a stand-up comedian, but I couldn't even make myself laugh.

I asked my mirror for advice, but it just reflected on how bad I look.

My love life is like a Sudoku puzzle, I have no idea what I'm doing.

I tried to break a bad habit but ended up creating three more.

I'm like a human USB, I never go in the right way on the first try.

I'm like a human browser history, full of regrettable decisions.

I'm so out of shape, even my shadow outruns me.

I'm so short, I could parachute off a curb.

I'm like a Rubik's Cube, it's a mystery how anyone can figure me out.

I'm so bad at poker, I fold before the cards are even dealt.

I'm so awkward, I've been practicing my 'goodbyes' in the mirror.