I'm so bad with money, even my piggy bank has given up on me.

I'm so disorganized, my to-do list has a separate to-do list.

I'm so bad at texting, autocorrect has started making up new words for me.

I'm so bad at texting, I accidentally texted my own mom instead of my friend.

I tried to impress someone by cooking dinner, but they ended up ordering takeout.

I've been called a snack, but more like a rice cake - plain and unexciting.

I thought I was good at DIY until I attempted to put together IKEA furniture and ended up with extra screws.

I signed up for a marathon thinking it was a movie marathon. Needless to say, I didn't make it very far.

I thought I was a good singer until my dog howled along with me.

I tried to save money by cutting my own hair, but now I just look like a failed art project.

I tried to pick up a new hobby and ended up with more broken supplies than completed projects.

I went to a psychic to find out my future. She said, 'I'm sorry, I don't read tragic novels.'

I'm like a smartphone with low battery - constantly needing to be recharged.

I tried to learn how to juggle, but I couldn't even handle one ball. I guess I'm a one-hit wonder.

I'm such a bad dancer, I make Elaine from Seinfeld look like a pro.

I tried to be a comedian but my jokes were so bad, I got booed off stage. I guess I'm just not punny enough.

I asked my mirror who's the fairest of them all, and it cracked. Guess it couldn't handle the truth.

I tried to take a selfie and accidentally opened front camera. Scared myself to never try again.

I tried to be a model but the camera broke in self-defense.

I'm like a plant - I wither without constant attention and water.

I thought I found my soulmate, but it turns out they were just a good listener.