Why did the thief take a bath? Because he wanted to make a clean getaway!

I tried to do a backflip off a trampoline, but I bounced right into a bush.

I pretended to be a yoga expert, but I ended up getting tangled in a pretzel pose.

Why did the scarecrow need therapy? Because he was feeling straw-ng emotions!

I tried to do a handstand but accidentally knocked down a tower of cans.

I accidentally spilled all my spices. It's okay though, it was just a little oregano spill.

I tried doing a handstand but ended up doing a headstand on accident.

I saw a squirrel trying to water ski, but it kept falling off and doing somersaults.

I'm reading a book on teleportation. It's impossible to put down.

I accidentally ate a clock. It was very time-consuming.

Why did the tomato turn to the grape? Because it ran out of juice.

I told a skeleton a joke, but he didn't find it very humerus.

I put my phone on airplane mode. It flew away.

I'm actually not funny. I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.

Why was the broom late? It swept for hours!

How do cows stay up to date with current events? They hoof through the newspapers!

Why did the chicken jump onto the piano? It wanted to lay an egg-citing tune!

Why did the chicken sit on the mushroom? To make a chicken mushroom!

Why did the math book do so well in school? It had too many problems solved!

Why didn't the sun go to college? Because it already had a million degrees!

Why did the ghost get picked last on the basketball team? He couldn't make a ghoul shot!