Why don't skeletons fight each other in a duel? They don't have the guts or the backbone!

How does a penguin build its house quickly? Igloos it together with ice and snowballs!

What do you call a fake noodle that can't be boiled? An impasta that can't handle the heat!

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself on the mountain? It was two tired to keep going uphill!

What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes for sneaking around? Sneakers with silent soles!

Why did the golfer carry two pairs of pants to the golf course? In case he got a hole in one or in the rough!

Why did the math book have a sad ending? It had too many problems and divided by zero!

What do you call cheese that isn't yours and never shares? Nacho cheese that takes all the credit!

How do you make a tissue disco dance all night? Put a little boogie and let it groove!

Why did the cookie go to the doctor for a check-up? It was feeling crumbly and needed icing!

Why did the tomato go to the party with the salad dressing? Because it wanted to ketchup and salsa!

Why did the banana go to the doctor with the peeler? It wasn't peeling well and needed a slice of life!

Why did the tree go to the dentist for a woodwork appointment? To get a root canal and fix its bark!

Why did the clock go to the principal's office for a time out? It tocked too much and needed to unwind!

What did the blanket say to the bed when falling off? I've got you covered and cushioned!

What did the duck say when buying lipstick for the pond? Put it on my bill and make me quack up!

What did the grape do when it got stepped on and squished? It let out a little wine and aged like a fine wine!

What did the painting say to the wall in the gallery? I got you covered and framed!

How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying? You rocket!

Why did the tomato turn around? It saw a salad bar!

What did the elephant do when it saw a banana peel? It went bananas!