Why did the lettuce beat the celery in a race? Because it was all heart!

What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay? A deviled egg!

Have you heard about that restaurant on the moon? Good food, no atmosphere.

What did the tomato say to the bicycle? Ketchup and let's roll!

What did the knife say to the tomato? Let's ketchup later!

Why did the balloon bring a needle to the party? For popping the question!

Why did the snowman bring a thermometer to the party? To check his temperature!

What did the zipper say to the button? Zip it, we're in a tight spot!

What did the hat say to the scarf? Don't worry, I've got you covered!

Why did the balloon go to school? To become a little smarter!

What did the pencil say to the paper? You're stationery!

What did one plant say to the other plant? Are you seaweed yet?

Why did the math book envy the English book? It had too many problems and not enough stories!

Why did the music note jump off the page? To be a little more sharp!

I dreamt I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. It was a Fanta sea!

I accidentally ate some scrabble tiles. My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster!

Why did the tomato turn bright red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

What time is it when the clock strikes 13? Time to fix the clock!

I accidentally swallowed food coloring. The doctor says I'm ok, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

I took up fencing, but I couldn't get past the point.

I tried to catch fog, but I mist.