I put all my spare change into an arcade game, but it wouldn't accept my two cents.

Why did the football coach bring a step ladder to the game? He heard the players were going to raise the bar!

Why did the scarecrow win an award for his dancing skills? He had all the right moves!

How do you fix a broken tuba player? With a tuba glue!

Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired from all the puns!

How do you make an artichoke laugh? Tickling its heart!

Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was outstanding in his field of work!

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poker face!

Why did the soap call 911? It was ready to clean up a crime!

How do you make a hot dog stand? Take away its chair!

Why did the scarecrow receive a promotion? Because he was exceptional in his field!

Why was the scarecrow a successful comedian? He knew how to get people laughing in the fields!

Why did the rubber band refuse to play music? It was too stretched out to hold a tune!

Why did the scarecrow get a new job? He was headhunted for his outstanding skills!

What do you call a belt made out of dollars? A waist of money!

Why did the police officer go to the baseball game? Because he heard someone had stolen second base.

Why did the math book look unhappy? Because of all its problems!

Why did the crayon go to the doctor? It was feeling colorful!

Why did the pirate go to school? To improve his 'arrrrrrrithmetic'!

Why did the cracker go to the doctor? It felt crumby!

Why did the baker go to therapy? To get to the crumb of his issues!