Why did the scarecrow become a comedian? He was outstanding at corny jokes!

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta-pretender!

Why did the phone wear glasses? It lost all its contacts!

What happened to the man who ran through a screen door? He strained himself!

Why did the pencil go to school? To sharpen its mind!

What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of timepiece!

Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two tired from all the pedaling!

Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants illegally!

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies to clean up the mess!

Why did the pencil go to the dance? To draw attention!

Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!

Why did the skeleton not go to the party? He had no body to go with!

Why did the scarecrow become a doctor? He was outstanding in his field!

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to dance with!

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding!

I accidentally walked into a glass door and now I have a transparent laugh!

I tried to juggle water balloons, but it didn't end well - it was a splash!

I tried to do a cartwheel but ended up doing a crash-heel instead!

I accidentally sat on a whoopee cushion and now I'm feeling deflated!

I tried to do a handstand but ended up with a face-plant instead!

I slipped on a banana peel and now I have trust issues with fruit!