You should never play hide and seek with mountains. They're always at the peak.

What's a magician's favorite tool? A wand-erful!

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding at harvesting laughs!

What happened to the man who got hit by a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink!

Why did the scarecrow become a comedian? Because he was outstanding at cracking jokes!

Why did the man take a pencil to bed? In case he needed to draw the curtains!

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the fork!

What do you call a comedian with a bad back? A stand-up sit-down comic!

Why did the broom go to school? To brush up on its knowledge!

Why did the pencil go to the party? It heard it needed a point!

Why did the spoon go to the doctor? It was feeling a little ladle!

What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A fishtorian!

What did the gardener give his girlfriend? A dozen tulips!

Why did the thief take a shower before stealing? To make a clean getaway!

What clothes does a house wear? Address!

How do you make a band stand? Take away their chairs!

Why did the egg go to a comedy show? It was cracking up!

Why did the math book turn to a life of crime? It just couldn't add up!

Why did the math book skip lunch? It decided to multiply instead!

What do you call a belt made of watches that tells dad jokes? A pun-demonium!

Why did the math teacher break up with the graph paper? He found it too square!