How does a barber cut the ocean's hair? With a tide comb!

What did the duck buy at the store? A quack-er!

Why did the skateboard go to school? Because it wanted to be on a roll!

Why couldn't the elephant use the computer? It was afraid of the mouse!

Why did the basketball go to the team's house? For a court-ordered check-up!

Why was the clock always late? It needed to get wound up!

Where do cows go on vacation? Moo Zealand!

Why did the robot go to school? To get a little smarter!

When's the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty!

What happened to the artist who swallowed crayons? He felt a little sketchy!

Why was the king only a foot tall? Because he was a ruler.

I dropped a bag of sugar, but I made it sweet by adding a kiss!

I'm reading a book on the history of controlled demolition. It's blowing my mind!

I spilled spot remover on my dog... now he's gone.

I told a time traveler a joke; he laughed...

Why was the tennis player so lousy at matchmaking? Because he had a bad serve!

Why did the soap opera actor break up with his girlfriend? He wanted more drama!

Why did the baseball player go to the park? He heard they had great sliders!

Why did the pencil bring a pencil sharpener to the party? It wanted to look sharp!

I tried to go fishing, but I couldn't find a reel reason!

I tried to take up skydiving, but I couldn't jump to conclusions!