Why didn't the skeleton go to school? His heart wasn't in it!

Why did the bartender break up with the grapefruit? It was always bitter!

How do you unlock a dinosaur's phone? With a T-Rex!

When is the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty!

Why did the tomato turn to the banana? Because it wanted to ketchup!

Why did the scarecrow win an award for comedy? Because it was outstanding in its field!

A man walked into a bar... and said 'ouch!'

How can you tell if a vampire has a cold? He starts coffin!

Why was the math book sad? It had a lot of problems.

Why did the acrobat bring a ladder to the show? He heard they were raising the bar!

What did the janitor say to the broom? It's sweeping time!

How does cabbage relate to king bands? - It's coleslaw

What do you call a musician who trips and falls on stage? A little drummer boy!

What does a nut say when it sneezes? Cashew!

What do you call a knight who is afraid of horses? Sir Rides-A-Lot!

Why was the ink so expensive? It was a rare medium well done!

Why did the chicken join a band? To become an egg-cellent drummer!

Why couldn't the apple pie get a job? It didn't have enough filling!

Why couldn't the scientist laugh at a fart joke? It blew his hypothesis away!

What's a skeleton's favorite fruit? A nectarine!

Why did the belt get a promotion at work? It held up pants so well!