Why did the math book run for election? It was great at solving problems and calculating solutions!

Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the cucumber in its skin-tight outfit!

Why did the robot go to the doctor? It had a circuit overload!

Why did the tomato turn red even though it wasn't ripe? It was blushing at its own popularity!

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear that loves gummy worms!

Why did the scarecrow win an award for best clothes designer? It was great at making corny outfits!

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants golfing? In case he got a hole in one and a hole in two!

What do you call a playful squirrel on a trampoline? A spring-loaded nut!

Why did the chicken join the orchestra? Because it had the drumsticks!

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet wearing a Hawaiian shirt? Aloha!

What do you call a comedian who tells jokes in an underpass? A stand-up comic!

Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted? It was really good at thinking on its feet!

What did the janitor say to the broom? Get a sweep and shape up!

How do you steal a coat? You jacket!

Why did the coffee go to the police station? It got mugged!

Why did the clock go to the principal's office? It wanted to 'tock' back some time!

Why did the hand go to the face? It wanted to slap some sense into it!

Why did the scarecrow always win awards? Because he was outstanding in his field!

What do bees do if they need a ride? Wait at the buzz stop!

What do you call a confused ghost? A dispirited spirit!

A man walks into a bar... and says 'ouch!'