Why did the piano bring a cheese grater to the concert? To play some sharp notes!

How do you catch a squirrel who's gone wild? Climb a tree and act like an acorn!

What did the hat say to the scarf at the fashion show? You're a real wrap star!

Why did the tomato turn green after running a marathon? It got vine-chapped!

How do you make a lemon shake hands? Lemon-aid!

Why couldn't the astronaut stay on the moon? He lacked space to land a joke!

What did one shoe say to the other shoe at the race? Let's heel and toe!

Why did the book go to the therapist? It had too many pages to turn!

Why did the scarecrow go to college? To get a little straw-nication!

Why did the burglar break into the bakery? He heard they had really good dough!

My diet isn't going well. I have a few pounds to lose, but I keep finding them.

I accidentally swallowed a coin. My doctor said there's some change in me.

I would tell you a const.

I'm in a band called The Elevators. We've had a lot of ups and downs.

I thought I lost my thesaurus, but when I went to look for it, all the words.

What do you call a cow eating grass? A lawn mooer.

I used to be a baker, but my bread always fell flat.

I told my wife she should stop shopping at the bakery. She kneads to listen.

Why did the pencil go to the party? It wanted to be the draw card!

Why was the baker arrested? He got caught loaf-handed!

Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they visit the beach? Because they might peel!