Why did the boxer always bring a knife to the match? In case there was a cut!

Why did the skeleton go to the party? He heard it was a bone-rattling good time!

What's the best way to watch a fly fish? With one eye open!

How do you know if a restaurant has good food? When you can't get a reservation!

Why was the clock always stressed out? It had too many hands!

Why did the tea bag stay in the cup? It was too steeped to leave!

Why did the pasta start a fight? It wanted to become al dente!

Why did the chef get kicked out of the kitchen? He found out that too many cooks spoil the broth!

Why did the hair stylist go to jail? He was a cut above the rest!

Why did the scarecrow wear gloves? He didn't want to be outstanding in his field!

What do you call a cow that plays the violin? A moo-sician!

Why did the scarecrow bring a map? He was outstanding in his field!

Why did the mustard go to the party? Because it was cool!

Why did the tomato turn orange? Because it saw the apple cross the road!

If you want a job in the moisturizer industry, the best advice I can give is to apply daily.

My math tutor told me that I should practice multiplication. So I did. Now, I'm a father.

Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? It was just a space issue!

What did the math book say to the history book at the library? I've got your number!

Why did the beach miss the ocean? It needed a little wave action!

How do you make a milkshake smile? Show it a funny straw!

Why couldn't the oven find its timer? It had too much heat exhaustion!