Why did the police officer bring a pencil to the crime scene? To draw the curtains!

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants on the course? In case he got a hole in one and a hole in two!

How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his pipe dreams!

Why did the scarecrow win an acting award? Because he really knew how to straw-till the show!

What do you call a belt made out of dollar bills and coins? A cash strap!

Why did the ghost go to the funfair? To go on the rollerghoster!

How do you catch a runaway bra? With a booby trap!

Why did the chicken join the basketball team? To shoot some hoops with the eggs!

What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Look, we are in deep trouble!

Why did the bicycle refuse to move? Because it was too tyred to pedal!

How do you fix a broken pizza? A little 'slice' of tape!

Why did the tomato turn purple? Because it was squished by grape expectations!

Why did the pirate go to school? To improve his 'arrrrr'thmetic!

Why did the scarecrow refuse to eat? Because he was stuffed!

What do you call a fish wearing a crown and a cape? The king of the sea!

Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two tired to stay upright!

What do you call a bear with no teeth and poor eyesight? A near-sighted gummy bear!

How do you make a lemon stop rolling? Put a little squeeze on it!

Why was the baseball team so good at music? They had perfect pitch!

What do you call a fish driving a tank? A tanked fish!

Why did the football team go to the bank? They wanted their quarterback!