Yo mama is so old, when God said 'Let there be light,' she flipped the switch.

Yo mama is so old, when she breastfeeds, it's powdered milk.

Yo mama is so short, when she went to see Santa, he told her she was on the naughty list for being a bad step stool.

Yo mama is so old, when she was in school, history was a current event.

Yo mama is so athletic, when she plays hide and seek, police call off the search.

Yo mama is so lazy, when she heard it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.

Yo mama is so tech-challenged, she thought USB stood for United States of Bacon.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she went to the zoo, the monkeys thought she was their long-lost cousin.

Yo mama is so old, her birth certificate says 'expired'.

Yo mama is so short, she poses for trophies.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, her reflection ducked.

Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't chase the ice cream truck, she waits for it to stop.

Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell 'Taxi!'

Yo mama is so poor, she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

Yo mama is so hairy, Bigfoot took her picture.

Yo mama is so smelly, she makes onions cry.

Yo mama is so round, she tried to sit on a corner and made a new angle.

Yo mama is so loud, when she whispers, deaf people complain.

Yo mama is so cross-eyed, she can see behind her without turning around.

Yo mama is so greasy, her pores look like a Slip 'N Slide.