Yo mama is so lazy, she went to a speed dating event and high-fived everyone.

Yo mama is so poor, when I asked her what’s for dinner, she took off her shoelaces and said spaghetti.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she tripped over a wireless network.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she went to the zoo, people thought she escaped from the monkey enclosure.

Yo mama is so ugly, she makes onions cry.

Yo mama is so stupid, she stared at a cup of orange juice for 12 hours because it said ‘Concentrate.’

Yo mama is so slow, she can’t even complete a quick-time event in a video game.

Yo mama is so tall, when she did a backflip, she kicked Jesus in the face.

Yo mama is so noisy, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.

Yo mama is so dirty, she puts air freshener on her shopping list.

Yo mama is so greasy, when she sat down on a bank, it slipped.

Yo mama is so drunk, when she heard Christmas was around the corner, she went looking for it.

Yo mama is so cross-eyed, she can watch TV and a tennis match at the same time.

Yo mama is so bald, when she wears a turtleneck, she looks like a roll-on deodorant.

Yo mama is so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on.

Yo mama is so annoying, even her shadow won’t follow her.

Yo mama is so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.

Yo mama is so old, when she was in school, history was called current events.

Yo mama is so lazy, when she got a call from her boss asking her to come to work, she asked for a remote meeting.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't chase her dreams - she sends them a text.

Yo mama is so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.