Yo mama is so clumsy, she accidentally strangled herself with a cordless phone.

Yo mama is so short, when she heard it was chilly outside, she grabbed a spoon.

Yo mama is so hairy, she trims her nose hair with a weed whacker.

Yo mama is so lazy, she's on a seaweed diet - she sees weed, she eats it.

Yo mama is so poor, when I asked her what's for breakfast, she whispered 'shhh, we're still sleeping'.

Yo mama is so hairy, she shaves with a weedwhacker.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she went to the jewelry store to get a Bluetooth.

Yo mama is so short, she tripped over a nickel and fell down the stairs.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she gave birth to you, you came out with a fur coat.

Yo mama is so lazy, she thinks an escalator is exercise.

Yo mama is so dumb, she tried to alphabetize her M&M's.

Yo mama is so poor, when I asked her for a penny for my thoughts, she gave me a used one.

Yo mama is so lazy, she sticks her finger out the window to see if it's raining.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she goes to the beach, people scream 'Sasquatch!'

Yo mama is so poor, when I asked her for a dollar, she said 'Change is all I have.'

Yo mama is so dumb, she saw a 'Wet Floor' sign and said, 'Where?'

Yo mama is so old, her birth certificate is written in Roman numerals.

Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

Yo mama is so lazy, when she was in labor, she asked the doctor to take a raincheck.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she went to the barber, they charged her for a hedge trimming.

Yo mama is so poor, when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked what she was doing, she said 'Moving.'