Yo mama is so short, she makes cookies on a Cheerio.

Yo mama is so hairy, she flosses with a cat.

Yo mama is so old, when she went to the museum, they tried to put her on display.

Yo mama is so short, she high-fives ants on the sidewalk.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she goes to the pet store, people ask if she's available for adoption.

Yo mama is so old, when she farts, dust comes out.

Yo mama is so fat, when she jumps for joy, the earthquake alert goes off.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, it cracks.

Yo mama is so poor, when I stepped on a cigarette, she said 'Who turned off the heater?'

Yo mama is so hairy, when she goes to the salon, they charge her extra for deforestation.

Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.

Yo mama is so old, when she was in school, science was just called 'magic'.

Yo mama is so fat, she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

Yo mama is so dumb, she tripped over a cordless phone.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she goes to the beach, she wears a wetsuit made of gorilla fur.

Yo mama is so lazy, she thinks a two-income household means she has to work twice as hard.

Yo mama is so stinky, when she walks past the skunk, it holds its nose.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a haunted house, she comes out with a job application.

Yo mama is so fat, she wears two watches, one for each timezone.

Yo mama is so old, when she was in school, they didn't have history class because she was there to witness it all.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she goes to the zoo, the animals mistake her for one of their own.