Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? They're afraid they might get peppered by the residents below.

How does a train eat? It opens wide and engulfs the tracks with its insatiable appetite for travel.

Why don't trees play hide and seek? They're rooted in one spot and can't relocate easily.

What did one sock say to the other sock in the dryer? Let's make a clean exit, we don't need to get heated.

Why did the belt go to jail? It was charged for holding up a pair of notorious pants.

How does a candle get out of a draft? It waxes lyrical and melts into the background.

Why did the music teacher get in trouble? He couldn't control his pupils and they kept going back to square one.

What did the ruler say to the pencil? You've left your mark, now let's draw the line together.

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw its crush, the bell pepper, and felt saucy.

What did the ocean say to the beach? I'm keeping the waves coming, don't worry about a tide.

Why did the math book get angry? Because it had so many problems to solve, it was calculating its options.

How does a penguin build its house? Igloos in the Arctic region with a view, it's a cool choice.

Why did the tree go online? To root for its favorite social network and branch out its connections.

What did the tree wear to the party? A 'trunk' suit, with its roots grounded and its branches stylishly spread.

How does a train eat? It goes chew chew, swallowing tracks and stations with its locomotive appetite.

Why was the big cat disqualified from the race? Because it was a cheetah.

I heard a joke about a piece of paper. It was tearable.

I can't stand people who take drugs. They're the ones who make coffee tables.

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight (ate) nine.

Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had a bone to pick.