I asked my bag of chips for a joke, but it was too crumby to answer.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his cornfield.

Why did the vegetable go to therapy? It had too many peeling to deal with.

I asked my friend why he carries a map around. He said 'I just like to be in the know.'

I asked my friend what's brown and sticky. He said 'A stick.'

I tried to make some tea, but I couldn't find the right spot for it to steep.

I asked my computer if it believed in life after startup. It said 'Reboot to know.'

I asked my friend if he wanted to hear a joke about clouds. He said 'I'm not that meteorologically inclined.'

I told my friend he should embrace his mistakes. He hugged me and said 'Is this how you deal with errors?'

Why was the tomato so good at listening? Because it was all ears.

I asked my friend what the opposite of 'Tennis Elbow' was. He said 'Volley Shoulder'.

I asked my bank teller if he could check my balance. So he pushed me.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding at his job.

I told my computer I needed a break, so it replied 'Ctrl+Alt+Del'.

I asked my dog what's on top of a house. He said 'Woof'.

I tried to play hide and seek with my fridge, but it kept shouting 'I'm refrigerate!'

I asked my friend if he wanted to hear a joke about ghosts. He said 'Sure, I'll be a-spectre-acular about it.'

I asked my friend why he carries a ladder around. He said 'I heard the stepladder is always second best.'

I asked the librarian if they had a book on humility. She said 'We used to, but it's been taken out by someone who is just the best.'

I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. She took a big step forward.

Why was the belt the best at holding up pants? It had a good support system.