How does a bee brush its hair? With a honeycomb.

Why couldn't the bicycle figure out the math problem? It was two tired to think.

What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks can't talk.

Why did the football team go to the bank? To tackle their savings.

How does a farmer mend his overalls? With cabbage patches.

Why couldn't the tree play hide and seek? Because it was rooted to the spot.

What did one banana say to the other banana? I find you a-peeling.

Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue? To lend some backbone.

How did the umbrella get invited to all the parties? It had good coverage.

Why couldn't the lamp play hide and seek? Because it kept getting turned on.

What did the lawyer wear to work? A suit.

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was embarrassed to be seen in the grocery store naked.

What did the pencil say to the paper? Nothing, it couldn't talk.

What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but the real question is how did they get in there?

Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken.

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was embarrassed.

Why did the cowboy hang up his boots? He got tired of horsing around.

Why did the guitar go to the party alone? Because it didn’t have any strings attached.

Why did the salad go to the studio? To get its beats tossed.

Why did the caveman break up with his girlfriend? She took him for granite.