Why did the tomato not want to be a fruit? It wanted to be unique.

What did the wall say to the ceiling? Meet you at the corner.

What did the bread say to the butter? You're on a roll.

Why did the candle go to school? It wanted to be a wick-torian.

What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.

What did the painting say to the wall? I've got you covered.

Why did the dog sit in the shade? It didn't want to be a hot dog.

What did the computer say to the mouse? You click with me.

What did the tree say to the wind? Leaf me alone.

Why did the scarecrow become a successful businessman? He was outstanding in his field.

What did the hamburger name its baby? Patty.

Why did the tomato not want to play hide and seek? It couldn't ketchup.

What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing, fruit can't talk.

Why did the picture frame go to jail? It was framed.

What did the bear say to the bee? Buzz off.

Why did the pencil refuse to write? It was not sharp enough.

What did the astronaut use to keep his pants up? An asteroid belt.

Why did the basketball go to therapy? It had too many issues.

What did the shoe say to the sock? You knock my socks off.

Why did the tomato refuse to jump in the salad? It said it was too corny.

How do you make a tissue not dance? Tell it to stay put.