I used to have a job drilling holes for water. It was well boring.

Why did the scarecrow go to college? To be outstanding in his field of study.

What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowtain.

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that's a hardware issue.

Why did the rock go to school? Because it wanted to become a little boulder.

I'm terrified of elevators, so I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.

Why did the chicken go to the seance? To ask about the afterlife.

Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had no body to go with him.

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was missing a kickstand.

Why did the tomato turn red? It was embarrassed by its squishy insides.

Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they refuse to share their electrons.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because it was really good at scaring birds.

Why did the coffee stay up all night? It had too much espresso.

Why was the math book angry? It had too many problems with division.

Why did the lamp go to therapy? It had too much shade.

Why did the pencil get bad grades? It didn't have a point.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumbly.

Why did the sweater break up with the scarf? It was feeling choked.

Why did the traffic light turn red? It was blushing from all the attention.

Why did the hat go to the party? It wanted to be the center of attention.