How does a penguin make pancakes? With flipper batter.

Why did the dirty sock go to therapy? It had too many issues.

What did the finger say to the nose? Stop picking on me!

How does a vampire clean his house? With a vacuum that sucks blood.

Why did the spoon break up with the fork? It couldn't handle their prickly relationship.

Why didn't the nose want to play hide and seek? It was tired of the runny jokes.

What did the tap say to the toilet? You're flush with success!

Why was the bathroom so crowded? Because it had a lot of commode-ities.

Why was the hairbrush arrested? It was caught causing too many tangles.

What did one shampoo bottle say to the other shampoo bottle? You complete me, with your conditioning.

What do you call a snowman at the beach? A puddle.

Why was the belt locked up? It was caught holding up a robbery.

Why did the germ cross the microscope? To get to the dirty side.

How does a vampire clean his house? With a vacuum cleaner.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a pig? Frostbite.

How do you kill a circus clown? Go for the juggler.

Why didn't the toilet paper make it to the party? It got stuck in a jam.

Why was the belt so outspoken? It was a waist of time.

Why did the toilet paper refuse to get involved in the argument? It didn't want to get caught in the cross-stream!

What did one faucet say to the other about conserving water? Let's tap into our green side and flow responsibly!

Why did the toilet brush become a motivational speaker? It was great at cleaning up people's lives!