Why did the blonde stay up all night with a flashlight? She wanted to get a head start on the morning.

Why did the blonde bring a gun to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.

Why did the blonde go to space? She heard the asteroids were made of potato chips.

What did the blonde say to the physicist? 'Why can't I travel faster than the speed of light in my convertible?'

Why was the blonde confused at the bookstore? She saw the sign that said 'non-fiction' and thought it was off-limits.

What do you call a blonde on a college campus? Lost.

What did the blonde do when she heard it was going to rain? She took a shampoo because it said 'for dry hair'.

Why did the blonde get fired from the orange juice factory? She couldn't concentrate.

Why did the blonde bring a thesaurus to the bar? To find 'alternative' drinks.

How did the blonde try to kill a cockroach? She called it a taxi and said 'Take me to the bodega.'

Why did the blonde bring a phone to the bar? To dial in to the 'happy hour.'

What did the blonde say when she saw a 'Merge' sign? 'I'll blend right in.'

Why did the blonde bring a map to the bar? To navigate her 'cocktail journey.'

How did the blonde try to kill a ladybug? She sprayed it with perfume and said 'Smell ya later.'

Why did the blonde bring a laptop to the bar? To search for 'spirited' drinks.

Why did the blonde bring a dictionary to the bar? To check the 'proof' of her drinks.

How did the blonde try to kill a mouse? She set up a tiny guillotine and said 'Off with its head.'

Why did the blonde bring a pillow to the bar? So she could 'brew' up a good time.

What did the blonde say when she saw a 'Yield' sign? 'I'll take a detour.'

Why did the blonde bring a DVD to the bar? To watch the 'cocktail' hour.

How did the blonde try to kill a snail? She sprinkled it with salt and said 'See you on the other side.'