Why did the blonde bring a sandwich to the bar? To have a 'spirited' lunch.

What did the blonde say when she saw a 'One Way' sign? 'I'll follow the leader.'

Why did the blonde bring a pillow to the bar? She heard it was a 'rest'-aurant.

How did the blonde try to kill a spider? She vacuumed it up and said 'Time to clean house.'

Why did the blonde bring a notepad to the bar? To take notes on her 'bartender's special.'

How did the blonde try to kill a fly? She swatted it with a newspaper and yelled 'Extra! Extra!'.

What did the blonde say when she saw a 'Construction Ahead' sign? 'I'll walk tall.'

Why did the blonde bring a dictionary to the bar? To look up the 'definition' of a good time.

How did the blonde try to kill a worm? She put it in a birdhouse and said 'Fly, my pretty.'

What did the blonde say when she saw a 'High Voltage' sign? 'Oh, no wonder the lights are so bright.'

How did the blonde try to kill a bee? She yelled 'Sting me!'

Why did the blonde bring a comb to the bar? To keep her drinks neat and tidy.

How did the blonde try to kill a turtle? She threw it in the ocean and yelled 'swim!'

Why did the blonde bring a backpack to the bar? She heard the drinks were 'out of this world.'

Why did the blonde bring a magnet to the bar? She heard the drinks were 'attractive.'

How did the blonde try to kill a plant? She overwatered it and said 'Drink up.'

Why did the blonde bring a rope to the bar? She heard it was a tie.

Why did the blonde get excited about a puzzle with 5 pieces? She finished it in 3 months.

Why did the blonde take a spoon to the restaurant? To eat the 'soup of the day.'

What did the blonde say when she saw a 'No Parking' sign? 'Fine, I'll park somewhere else.'

Why did the blonde bring a pair of scissors to the restaurant? To 'cut' the line.