Why did the blonde stare at the glass of orange juice? It said 'Drink me.'

What did the blonde say when she saw a 24-hour store? 'Is it closed today?'

How did the blonde try to kill a bird? She threw it out of the window and missed.

What did the blonde say when asked if she had any siblings? 'I'm an only child, but my sister has two kids.'

How did the blonde break the mirror? She tried to count her reflections.

What did the blonde do when she couldn't find her dictionary? She started from scratch.

How did the blonde break her foot kicking a soccer ball? She missed.

Why did the blonde wear a helmet while painting? To prevent brush strokes.

What did the blonde do when she locked her keys in the car? She called a locksmith to break into her own house.

How did the blonde try to fix her computer? By going to a hardware store and asking for a software update.

Why did the blonde bring a tape measure to the art gallery? To see how big the paintings were.

What did the blonde say when she saw the blinker fluid was low? 'Better top it off!'

How did the blonde try to cheat on a test? By copying the guy next to her...during a blood test.

What did the blonde do when she heard it was raining cats and dogs? Grabbed her umbrella to protect against the poodles.

Why did the blonde thank the barber? She finally understood the haircut instructions.

What did the blonde do when she missed the bus? She took a hairdryer to the bus stop.

How did the blonde confuse a toad? She kissed a frog hoping for a prince.

Why did the blonde put her car in a blender? She wanted a convertible.

What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant? She called 911 to report an alien invasion.

Why did the blonde stop at the ice cream shop every day? She wanted to learn the alphabet from A to D.

How do you confuse a blonde? You can't, they're born that way.