Why did the blonde refuse to play chess? She was tired of being a pawn.

How did the blonde break her finger while eating a candy bar? She bit her own hand.

Why did the blonde bring a rope to the party? In case there was a 'tie-breaker'.

How did the blonde break her foot walking? She tripped over the sidewalk.

What did the blonde say when she saw a 'No Parking' sign? 'I prefer to valet.'

Why did the blonde bring a flashlight to the bar? To 'light up' the dance floor.

How did the blonde break her wrist while baking? She fell off the whisk.

What did the blonde do when she missed the bus? She took a nap.

Why did the blonde bring a hammer to the bar? To nail her drink.

What did the blonde say when asked if she believes in aliens? 'Of course, I am one.'

Why did the blonde bring a car door to the party? So she could have a 'carpool'.

How did the blonde break her toe kicking a soccer ball? She missed.

What did the blonde say when asked if she wanted fries with that? 'No, I prefer curly hair.'

Why did the blonde wear a baseball cap to the bar? She heard they were serving pitchers.

What do you call a blonde surrounded by drooling guys? An airbag.

Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the barbershop? She heard they had high stools.

Why did the blonde think she could fly? She heard someone say 'the sky's the limit'.

Why did the blonde get angry at the calendar? She thought it was trying to control her schedule.

Why couldn't the blonde dial 911? She couldn't find the '11' button.

What do you call a blonde wearing headphones? The blonde with high expectations.

What do you call a basement full of blondes? A wine cellar.