Why did the blonde bring a pencil to her job interview? She wanted to draw her own conclusions.

How did the blonde try to kill a bird? By throwing it a farewell party.

Why did the blonde bring a ruler to bed? She wanted to measure how long she slept.

Why did the blonde bring a key to the bakery? She heard they were having a 'lock-in' sale.

What did the blonde do when she saw a 'No Parking' sign? She took it as a challenge and parked there.

How did the blonde die while water skiing? She couldn't find a lake with a slope.

How do you confuse a blonde for hours? Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a sheet of paper.

What did the blonde say when asked if she knew any jokes? 'Me, remember jokes? That's a good one!'

Why did the blonde take a bag of frozen peas to the baseball game? She heard they were good at stealing bases.

Why did the blonde answer the phone with her elbow? She couldn't find her ring finger.

Why did the blonde think she could fly by jumping off a cliff? She heard it was a 'leap of faith.'

What did the blonde say when she saw a neon sign that said 'Open 24 hours'? 'Wow, that's a long time to be open!'

How did the blonde cut her ear? She answered the phone while ironing her clothes.

Why did the blonde bring a pencil to the interview? She heard they were looking for a 'sharp' candidate.

Why did the blonde bring a mirror to the desert? So she could see the heat waves.

What do you call a blonde surrounded by drooling idiots? Flattered

Why did the blonde become a goalkeeper? She heard it was a good way to get a kick out of things

Why did the blonde bring a coat hanger to the bar? In case she needed to pick the lock on the bathroom

What did the blonde say when she saw the 'No Parking' sign? 'That's okay, I'm not planning on staying long anyway'

What did the blonde say when she saw the 'Flight Cancelled' sign? 'It's okay, I prefer teleporting anyway'

How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Wave and say 'Timber!'