Why did the blonde wear sunglasses to the bar? She didn't want anyone to see her 'light-headedness'.

How did the blonde burn down her house? She tried to make toast in the microwave.

Why did the blonde use a ruler to measure a table? She heard it was 'table'spooning.

Why did the blonde think her TV was broken? She couldn't find the 'remote' control.

Why did the blonde bring a football to the bar? She heard they were 'kicking back'.

Why did the blonde bring a book to the bar? In case she needed a 'shot' of knowledge.

How did the blonde think she could communicate with dolphins? She tried speaking in 'fish' language.

Why did the blonde think she could fly? She heard 'blonde' ambition could take her anywhere.

Why did the blonde bring a chainsaw to the hair salon? She heard they were doing 'extreme cuts'!

How did the blonde try to pay for a parking ticket? She thought she could use Monopoly money!

Why did the blonde bring a flashlight to the bar? She heard they had a 'light' beer special!

Why did the blonde bring a football to the soccer game? She thought it was a 'kickball'!

How did the blonde try to cool down her car? She rolled down the windows and turned on the air 'guitar'!

Why did the blonde bring a beach chair to the ski resort? She thought they were going to 'chill'!

How did the blonde try to fix her computer? She thought deleting cookies involved actual cookies!

Why did the blonde bring a ruler to the dance? She wanted to 'measure up' to the competition!

How did the blonde try to catch a fish? She thought using a fishing pole meant just telling a fish a good joke!

Why did the blonde bring a parachute to the trampoline park? She wanted to take 'skydiving' to a new level!

Why did the blonde bring a screwdriver to the restaurant? She thought she could 'fix' the menu!

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign 'Wet Floor'? Where's the dry one?

How did the blonde try to alphabetize M&Ms? She put them in alphabetical order.