Why did the blonde refuse to play hide and seek? She couldn't find a good hiding spot.

How did the blonde try to improve her memory? She wrote herself a note to remember to remember.

Why did the blonde wear sunglasses at the computer? She heard about the web.

What did the blonde do when she heard it was going to rain cats and dogs? She went out with a shampoo and conditioner.

How did the blonde try to cheat on a test? She wrote the answers on her palm and still got them wrong.

Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the baseball game? She heard the players were going to bat.

How did the blonde try to save time getting ready in the morning? She applied lipstick while driving to work.

Why did the blonde bring a mirror to the bar? To see if she had any shots.

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign that said 'Airport Left'? 'Oh wow, they have a left airport too!'

Why did the blonde stop using the pill dispenser? She couldn't fit any more cotton balls in it.

Why did the blonde throw the clock out the window? She wanted to see time fly.

What did the blonde do when she saw a sign that said 'Wet Floor'? She grabbed a towel.

Why did the blonde bring a pencil to the bar? She heard they had good 'write' drinks.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? 'I wonder if it's mine.'

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? 'I didn't know I was expecting a package.'

Why did the blonde bring a phone to the bar? In case she needed to call her ride home.

How do you drown a blonde? Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

Why did the blonde put her iPhone in the blender? She wanted to make Apple juice.

Why did the blonde only change her baby's diaper once a month? Because it says 'good for up to 20 pounds.'

How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle? Shine a flashlight in her ears.

Why did the blonde stop using her blender? She thought it was making her smart by mixing up her thoughts.