How did the blonde try to kill a bird? She put it in the freezer to give it the cold shoulder.

What did the blonde say when she saw lightning? 'Wow, someone's taking my picture!'

Why did the blonde wear sunglasses in the computer store? She heard the screens were bright.

How did the blonde try to kill a fish? She put it on a vegetarian diet.

Why did the blonde bring a ruler to bed? To see how long she slept.

What did the blonde do when she saw a 'Wet Floor' sign? She did the backstroke.

How did the blonde try to kill a bird? She gave it a caged bird to read.

What did the blonde do when she heard someone say 'Turn up the heat'? She did a 360-degree rotation.

How did the blonde try to kill a fish? She put it in a weight loss program.

Why did the blonde bring a pencil to the bar? To draw a line in the sand with her drink order.

What did the blonde say when she saw a sign that said 'Don't feed the animals'? 'But I brought carrots!'

How did the blonde try to kill a fish? She turned off the aquarium light.

Why did the blonde bring a map to the bar? She heard the drinks were at a 'crossroads'.

Why did the blonde bring a spoon to the restaurant? She heard they had a soup-er special.

How did the blonde try to kill a fish? She tried to give it swimming lessons in the bathtub.

What did the blonde say when she saw a 'No Parking' sign? 'Guess I'll have to park somewhere else!'

Why did the blonde bring a pencil to the bar? To sketch out a plan for the night.

How did the blonde try to kill a fish? She took it out of the water and expected it to breathe air.

What did the blonde say when she saw a 'Keep Off the Grass' sign? 'But I just painted my nails!'

Why did the blonde bring a ruler to the bar? To measure up against the competition.

How did the blonde try to kill a fish? She put it in a swimming pool and told it to 'sink or swim'.