Why did the blonde bring a pencil to the bar? To sketch out her pick-up lines.

What did the blonde do when she saw a 'Beware of Dog' sign? She brought a bone to make peace.

How did the blonde try to kill a fish? She tried to teach it to ride a bike.

How do you keep a blonde in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

Why did the blonde stare at the can of soup? It said 'concentrate' and she needed some food for thought.

How did the blonde try to kill a bird? She threw it in the air and told it to fly.

What do you call a blonde with a PhD? A doctorate of philosophy more than blonde.

Why did the blonde wear headphones while mowing the lawn? She wanted to listen to her grass music.

What do you call a blonde who hangs out with brunettes? A fluke of nature.

How did the blonde try to kill a fish? She put it in a hot tub and turned up the heat.

Why did the blonde bring a spoon to the bakery? She heard they were making brownie points.

What do you call a blonde with a library card? A fictional character.

How did the blonde try to kill a bird? She locked it in a cage and threw away the key.

Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? She wanted to raise the bar for her drinking buddies.

What do you call a blonde with an umbrella? Under the weather.

Why did the blonde bring a magnifying glass to the beach? She heard there would be some hot grains of sand.

What do you call a blonde who works at the post office? A stamp of approval.

How did the blonde try to kill a fish? She put it in a fish tank full of plastic plants.

Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? She thought she could reach new heights in her social life.

What do you call a blonde who loves to travel? A jet-setter with a one-way ticket to confusion.

How did the blonde try to kill a bird? She put it in a treehouse and hoped it would fall out.