Why did the blonde wear a helmet to bed? She heard sweet dreams are hard to come by.

What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents happen at home? She moved.

Why did the blonde buy a fishbowl with no fish? She thought it was a cool drinking glass.

Why did the blonde bring a pencil to the bar? In case she needed to draw a blank.

Why did the blonde wear headphones to the bar? She heard they had a great sound system.

What did the blonde do when she heard someone say it was a 'chili' outside? She grabbed a sweater.

Why did the blonde bring a spoon to the movie theater? She heard they had a stirring performance.

Why did the blonde bring a mirror to the bar? So she could see how drunk she was.

What did the blonde do when she saw a 'Wet Floor' sign? She went to get paper towels.

Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the gym? She heard they had a 'high'-intensity workout.

What did the blonde do when she saw a 'No Parking' sign? She parked somewhere else.

Why did the blonde bring a map to the restaurant? In case she got lost in the menu.

What did the blonde say when she saw a sign that said 'Do Not Enter'? She walked in anyways.

How can you tell when a blonde has been using your computer? The screen is covered in white-out.

Why did the blonde bring a pencil to the party? In case she needed to draw attention to herself.

What did the blonde say when she saw Cheerios? 'Donut seeds.'

How does a blonde part their hair? By doing a handstand.

What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone? Divorced.

What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence.

How do you get a blonde on the roof? Tell her the drinks are on the house.

What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme? Hump-me Dumpy.