Why did the blonde stare at the glass of orange juice? Because it had 'concentrate.'

Why did the blonde stare at the can of soda? Because it said 'Open here.'

Why did the blonde keep a ruler in her back pocket? In case she had to measure up to someone's expectations.

Why did the blonde break the computer? She heard it had cookies.

How do you make a blonde's day? Tell her a joke on Monday.

How do you confuse a blonde at an airport? Put her on a round trip ticket and tell her to go halfway.

Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice for so long? She thought it was a 'thinking' juice.

Why did the blonde run with the bike for hours? It had a 'running' sign on it.

Why did the blonde bring a glass of water to the dentist? In case he wanted to use the drill.

Why did the blonde bring a pillow to the bar? In case there was a nap on the rocks.

Why did the blonde apply for the astronaut job? She heard they needed a good space cadet.

Why did the blonde bring a feather to the bar? She heard they had cocktails on the rocks.

How did the blonde try to kill a plant? She over-watered it with compliments until it drowned.

Why did the blonde take a remote control to bed? To switch off her dreams.

How did the blonde try to kill a mosquito? She tried to reason with it and asked it to buzz off.

Why did the blonde take a thermometer to bed? She wanted to measure her sleep temperature.

Why did the blonde bring a watermelon to the bar? She wanted to start a fruit cocktail party.

Why did the blonde take a baseball bat to bed? To strike out in her dreams.

Why did the blonde bring a broom to the bar? She heard the place was sweeping with deals.

How did the blonde try to kill a bee? She tried to reason with it and asked it to buzz off.

Why did the blonde take a flashlight to bed? To brighten up her dreams.