What did the blonde do when she couldn't find the key to her car? She called a locksmith to open the window.

Why did the blonde only wear one earring? She couldn't find the other one to match.

Why did the blonde only bring one shoe to the bar? She heard they had a strict dress code.

Why did the blonde bring a pencil to the bar? She heard it was a 'write-off'.

When did the blonde go to the dentist? To take her Bluetooth out.

Why did the blonde snort Sweet'n Low? She thought it was diet coke.

How did the blonde die ice fishing? She was run over by the zamboni.

Why did the blonde throw breadcrumbs into the ocean? To feed the ducks.

Why did the blonde show up to the funeral with a ladder? She heard people were dying to get in.

Why did the blonde stop using the pill dispenser? She choked on it.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? Do you know who the father is?

Why did the blonde put makeup on her forehead? She wanted to make up her mind.

What did the blonde say when she saw the 'warning: slippery when wet' sign? 'Must be some damn good ice cream.'

Why did the blonde try to scale a glass wall? She wanted to see what was on the other side.

Why did the blonde try to bake a nintendo? She heard it was a 'gaming console'.

Why did the blonde pour Cheerios on the plate? She thought they were mini donuts.

Why did the blonde bring a key to the restaurant? She heard it was the secret to their success.

How did the blonde try to heat up leftovers? She put them in front of a space heater and waited for it to cook.

What did the blonde say when asked what time it is? 'Time to get a new watch.'

Why did the blonde bring a fire extinguisher to the campfire? She wanted to be prepared for a hot night.

How did the blonde try to get a tan? She laid out in the moonlight and hoped for the best.