What did the blonde do when she couldn't find her iPhone? She dialed 9-1-1.

How did the blonde drown while fishing? She fell off the washer.

Why did the blonde bring a shotgun to the bar? She wanted to shoot the breeze.

What did the blonde do when she saw the sign 'Wet Paint'? She licked her finger and touched it.

How did the blonde break her arm while baking? She tried to whisk it all away.

Why did the blonde bring a car manual to the bar? She thought the drinks would drive her crazy.

What do you call a blonde with a laptop? A hardware store.

Why did the blonde bring a feather duster to the bar? She wanted to clean up on the competition.

How did the blonde break her leg dancing? She tried the break dance move.

Why did the blonde bring a basketball to the bar? She heard it was packed with hoops.

What did the blonde say when she got an 'F' on her test? 'So close to an E!'.

Why did the blonde bring a horse to the bar? To pony up for drinks.

How did the blonde break her neck drinking orange juice? She kept trying to concentrate on it.

Why did the blonde bring a dictionary to the bar? She wanted to get drunk on knowledge.

Why did the blonde bring a mouse to the bar? She heard there was a party animal in the house.

How did the blonde break her toe playing tennis? She served herself a foot fault.

Why did the blonde get stuck in the grocery store? She couldn't find the checkout counter.

Why did the blonde bring a hairbrush to the bar? She thought it was a comb-over.

How did the blonde break her teeth biting a dictionary? She thought it was a snack.

Why did the blonde try to make a phone call with a calculator? She heard it had great reception.

Why did the blonde bring a bicycle to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the cycling team.