What did the blonde do when she saw the 'Wet Floor' sign? She waited for it to dry before walking.

Why did the blonde bring a spoon to the soccer game? In case there was a penalty shoot-out and she could save the day.

What did the blonde say when she saw the cheerios box say 'adults over 50'? 'I can't wait to turn 50!'

How do you get a blonde's eyes to sparkle? Shine a light in her ear.

How did the blonde manage to blow up a balloon underwater? She used a submarine.

What did the blonde do when she heard she could win a trip to Mars? She bought a Mars bar.

Why did the blonde bring a ruler to bed? To measure how many dreams she could fit in.

How did the blonde drown in a puddle? She couldn't see where she was going.

Why did the blonde go to the mirror store? She wanted to see herself with double vision.

How did the blonde fall asleep while watching TV? She tried to 'Netflix and dream'.

Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the DJ was 'raising the roof'.

What did the blonde do when she found out her phone was waterproof? She tried to take a selfie underwater.

Why did the blonde wear a helmet to school? She wanted to protect her thoughts.

How did the blonde get lost in her own house? She took a wrong turn at the speed of light.

What did the blonde do when she heard about a sale on cars? She bought a bumper sticker.

Why did the blonde wear a raincoat in the shower? She didn't want to get 'showered' with water.

How did the blonde accidentally start a fire at the circus? She tried to juggle flaming torches.

Why did the blonde try to write a letter with a pencil? She wanted to be ahead of the curve.

What did the blonde do when she got locked in a grocery store? She ate her way out.

How did the blonde lose weight watching TV? She kept thinking it was a 'light' program.

Why did the blonde try to make a sandwich in the DVD player? She thought it was a 'food' choice.