What did the blonde do when she heard about a sale on tires? She bought a necklace made out of inner tubes.

Why did the blonde try to ice skate on a frozen lake? She wanted to break the ice.

Why did the blonde wear a pullover to the bar? She heard the drinks were cool.

How did the blonde confuse a watch for a compass? She thought it pointed to 'nowhere'.

What did the blonde do when she got locked out of her car? She tried to pick the lock with a banana.

Why did the blonde wear sunglasses to work? To shade herself from being too bright.

How did the blonde break her watch while skydiving? She tried to turn back time.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? 'I guess I really nailed it.'

How did the blonde drown in the pool? She couldn't find the shallow end.

Why did the blonde try to write on the calendar? She wanted to schedule some 'free time'.

How did the blonde die while trying to unlock her car? She used a key to the city.

Why did the blonde try to put her nail polish in the freezer? She wanted a cold tap on the shoulder.

What did the blonde do with the broken pencil? She used it to draw a square circle.

Why did the blonde try to shoot the moon with a bow and arrow? She heard it was the 'aim of the game'.

What did the blonde do when she got lost in the desert? She sat on a cactus and waited for directions.

Why did the blonde bring a shovel to the bar? She heard the drinks were buried treasure.

How did the blonde break her nose doing ballet? She tried to pirouette like a ballerina.

Why did the blonde bring a horn to the bar? She thought it was a thirst alert.

Why did the blonde bring a coat hanger to the bar? She heard it was a top spot for hanging out.

Why did the blonde go to the dentist? To improve her Bluetooth.

Why did the blonde wear a helmet to the bar? She heard it was a head banging place.