What did the blonde say when she saw a 'No parking' sign? 'Where do they want us to park?'.

Why did the blonde bring a microwave to the bar? She wanted to heat up the conversation.

What did the blonde do when she saw a 'Danger: High Voltage' sign? Tried to touch it to feel the energy.

What did the blonde say when she saw a 'No Smoking' sign? 'Where else can we light up?'.

Why did the blonde bring a bag of frozen peas to the interview? In case they asked her to 'break the ice'.

Why did the blonde bring a mirror to the bar? To see if she could reflect on her decisions.

Why did the blonde bring a teaspoon to the coffee shop? She heard they were serving a 'teaspoon of coffee'.

How did the blonde die while knitting? She got tangled up in the yarn and suffocated.

What did the blonde say when she saw a banana skin? 'Oh, someone dropped their gun.'

Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? She thought it said 'open here' but couldn't find the 'here'.

Why did the blonde stand on the scale with a dictionary? To weigh her words.

What did the blonde do when she heard it was going to rain? She packed an umbrella for her car.

What did the blonde write on her job application for a librarian position? 'I love books, but I prefer movies.'

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch 'n sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Why did the blonde refuse to play hide-and-seek? Free will.

Why did the blonde take a glass of water to the bar? To improve her looks.

Why did the blonde bring a spoon and fork to the movie theater? In case she wanted to eat her words.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was allergic to peanuts? 'But I love my exes.'

Why did the blonde bring a flashlight to the bar? To shed some light on the situation.

How do you confuse a blonde for weeks? Give her a Rubik's cube and tell her it's a puzzle for geniuses.

Why did the blonde bring a pencil sharpener to the casino? To make some quick points.