Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have no body to love.

Why did the belt get a promotion? Because it held up under pressure.

Why don't coffins have Wi-Fi? Because no one's ever alive to use it.

Why did the clock win an award? It was outstanding in its minute.

Why did the computer keep coughing? It had a virus.

Why did the ghost go to the party? To get his boo-ze on.

Why did the scarecrow win an Oscar? He was outstanding in his field.

Why do we never see ghosts at concerts? Because they have no body to dance with.

Why was the letter sent to jail? It was involved in mail fraud.

Why did the belt get a job? It held up under pressure.

Why was the ghost tired at 2 p.m.? Because it didn't get to bed until 4 a.m.

Why did the snowman turn yellow? He heard the snow blower was coming.

Why did the math book get depressed? It had too many problems.

Why did the skateboard break up with the bicycle? It couldn't handle the wheels turning.

Why did the pencil have a bad day? It lead too many mistakes.

Why did the bullet end up losing its job? It was fired.

Why did the penny give up smoking? It wanted to be a better change.

Why did the candle end up going to school? It wanted to be a little brighter.

Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib.

Why do we never see ghosts in the library? Because they don't like the books that go bump in the night.

Why did the chicken join a cult? To avoid becoming a nugget.